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Monday, September 18, 2017

Monday Fun Day


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I am so used to people experiencing Monday morning as a drag, or disappointing, or the worst day of the week.  This morning I was greeted at my gym by a new staff person who told me he loved Mondays.  I feel fairly certain I shook my head like dogs in the movies, what?!   I needed a moment to take it in.  A celebration?!  I am all over this one!
My reply.  “Of course.  If you love your life, Mondays are wonderful”.  We shared a moment of joy.

Opportunity knocks.

This guy (I’ll call him Mike) told me he sees Mondays as a time to reset.  That Monday is an opportunity to think about what you want to happen and Monday is the perfect day to hit the refresh button.

William James, commonly referred to as the "Father of American Psychology" and working in the late 1800s, would agree with my new friend Mike.  His quote “The sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness . . . is to sit up cheerfully, to look round cheerfully, and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there. . . To wrestle with a bad feeling only pins our attention on it, and keeps it still fastened in the mind.” speaks to this.

Interesting thing is, that my experience changed in this shared moment with Mike.  Not only was I relieved of my dread of hearing someone share with me the usual ‘Mondays suck’.  I wasn’t even aware of it til he said something different.  I felt surprisingly both relieved and happy.  As pack animals, humans are neurologically hardwired to respond to the emotions of another human to determine safety, etc.  Who we hang out with makes a big difference in the quality of our lives.  [I will write more ~one day ~ on the science behind this.  For now, just for grins, assume it is true].


Even more compelling is that it works the other way as well.  What you think, say and do impacts all the people around you. 

DEEP REFLECTION:

What experience are you promoting for the people you say you care about?

Practice:

Next time you find you want to share a complaint with a friend or loved love, first consider how that will impact their health.  Knowing that some of the distress you are feeling will likely be experienced by that person (think about it like second hand smoke).  With that in mind, what would you like to experience yourself and for your friend as well?  Is whatever you are about to say necessary?  It is helpful?  Is it actually even true? 

Say this, not that.

Of course I am going to go here.  NEEDS.  I am a broken record inviting you to think about your needs before doing or saying anything.  Two ways I am suggesting here. 

First, consider the need you want to meet by communicating with your friend.  Is the complaint going to meet it?  Is there something else that might be more effective?  What is something that you can say that shares the truth of what is alive for you, and might generate more enthusiasm, power in your world and connection between the two of you as well.

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The other is to consider what needs of yours is meeting to be involved with work or whatever it is that you actually don’t like (or dread?) Mondays.  What needs are met by your choice of this job, or lifestyle?  If you focus on the choice you are making, rather than believing the idea that whatever is happening is completely outside of your control.  You might find a sense of empowerment and freedom by doing this.   

Then truly Monday (and every day ~ for the most part) can be FunDay!