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I am so used to people experiencing Monday morning as a
drag, or disappointing, or the worst day of the week. This morning I was greeted at my gym by a new
staff person who told me he loved Mondays.
I feel fairly certain I shook my head like dogs in the movies,
what?! I needed a moment to take it
in. A celebration?! I am all over this one!
My reply. “Of
course. If you love your life, Mondays
are wonderful”. We shared a moment of
joy.
Opportunity knocks.
This guy (I’ll call him Mike) told me he sees Mondays as a
time to reset. That Monday is an
opportunity to think about what you want to happen and Monday is the perfect
day to hit the refresh button.
William James, commonly referred to as the "Father of
American Psychology" and working in the late 1800s, would agree with my new
friend Mike. His quote “The sovereign
voluntary path to cheerfulness . . . is to sit up cheerfully, to look round
cheerfully, and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there. . . To wrestle with a bad feeling only pins our attention on it, and keeps it still
fastened in the mind.” speaks to this.
Interesting thing is, that my experience changed in this
shared moment with Mike. Not only was I
relieved of my dread of hearing someone share with me the usual ‘Mondays
suck’. I wasn’t even aware of it til he
said something different. I felt surprisingly both relieved and happy. As pack
animals, humans are neurologically hardwired to respond to the emotions of
another human to determine safety, etc.
Who we hang out with makes a big difference in the quality of our
lives. [I will write more ~one day ~ on
the science behind this. For now, just
for grins, assume it is true].
Even more compelling is that it works the other way as
well. What you think, say and do impacts
all the people around you.
DEEP REFLECTION:
What experience are you promoting for the people you say you
care about?
Practice:
Next time you find you want to share a complaint with a
friend or loved love, first consider how that will impact their health. Knowing that some of the distress you are
feeling will likely be experienced by that person (think about it like second
hand smoke). With that in mind, what
would you like to experience yourself and for your friend as well? Is whatever you are about to say
necessary? It is helpful? Is it actually even true?
Say this, not that.
Of course I am going
to go here. NEEDS. I am a broken record inviting you to think
about your needs before doing or saying anything. Two ways I am suggesting here.
First, consider the need you want to meet by communicating
with your friend. Is the complaint going
to meet it? Is there something else that
might be more effective? What is
something that you can say that shares the truth of what is alive for you, and
might generate more enthusiasm, power in your world and connection between the
two of you as well.
The other is to consider what needs of yours is meeting to
be involved with work or whatever it is that you actually don’t like (or
dread?) Mondays. What needs are met by
your choice of this job, or lifestyle?
If you focus on the choice you are making, rather than believing the
idea that whatever is happening is completely outside of your control. You might find a sense of empowerment and
freedom by doing this.
Then truly Monday (and every day ~ for the most part) can be FunDay!
Then truly Monday (and every day ~ for the most part) can be FunDay!
